Thursday, March 19, 2009

FIVE?!?!?!? Really?!

I have to make five baby blankets. My cousin is having twins, my sister is pregnant, and both of my "sisters-in-law" are expecting. It is the second baby for one of them, so since I made one for the first baby, I better make one for the baby of the other sister. So, I found patterns, I bought yarn, and I only have the finishing touches to make on the first of the blankets. Since this week is spring break, I have had a lot of time to knit, while watching The Lord of the Rings. These blankets have had to take priority over the other projects that I have to do because, well, I want them to be ready in time for showers.

Just in time for my own questioning of my own decision of motherhood, I get surrounded by pregnant women. Now, none of them are actually near me; they all live out of state, but while making the blankets, I am thinking about the babies. Most of these babies come as a joy to their mothers and their families, but as soon as I find out that a woman, any woman, is pregnant, I feel sorry for her. Even women who have wanted a baby for years. My mind races: Wow, you're life is OVER. So much for enjoying life. There goes all privacy. You will have to quit your job to take care of it. Think of all the crap you have to buy for that baby. There go your hormones and your figure.

I don't mean for any of this to be offensive; it's just how I feel. But that primal, evolutionary, maternal urge is still present for me. It does not disappear because I do not like children. That is actually the worst part. I have the biological clock, but the ticking is off. It's like a hormonal dysrhythmia. I love to make the baby blankets, and I make them with love in my heart and my fingers, but I never want to wrap a baby in it.

I have though, come to terms with my personal decision. No, I will not change my mind. No, no one is making me feel guilty for not wanting children. Yes, I am happy with the life that I have without children. Yes, I do feel that I can still make a contribution to the world without sharing my DNA. My contribution will be solidarity, independence, and a multitude of of cozy baby blankets.

Here is an early pic of the one I just finished.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


Here is how it happened.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Random Things

It is a simple exercise. List 25 random facts about yourself and send it to 25 friends. Have them to do the same. You can be as revealing or as superficial as you want. I don't really want to give too much away to all of the people on my list, but those who know me well already know the in-depth tidbits about my life.
I thought that the responses would give fun information. They did, but I was happy to see responses that gave me a chance to talk about the past.
I learned so much. I was able to know new friends better and to know old friends again. I found that the old friends were still as loved as they were in the past. The new friends are worth hanging on to.
I was happy to put water under a with a friend. There was no anger between us, but we finally had the opportunity to say things that have never been said. We said, "I'm sorry," "I love you," and "I'm glad to have you in my life." Things that have been said before, but not they mean so much more.
I have new friends. Friends that I have recently met, but have quickly learned to like. I will enjoy their company more now. I have learned things that will allow me to keep my foot OUT of my mouth.
I should like to require this exercise at the beginning of each new friendship. Sure, the best part about a new relationship is learning about the person, but how much more conversation starters will we have if we expound more on someone's #13 or #21.

Here are mine:

1. I was raised without cartoons and video games. I was not allowed to watch movies or TV shows that had to do with a lot of fantasy, magic, etc. Yet I have always been fascinated with magical things.

2. I have broken my little toe on my right foot twice, my little toe on my left foot once, and the outside of my right foot once (had to wear a cast for that one). All incidents happened when I was barefooted on a carpeted floor because that is how much skill I have.

3. I used to sing a lot in choirs and in for church. I really miss doing that, but not enough to join a church.

4. I never went out on a single date with a member of the opposite sex until I was 20 years old. He turned out to be a jerk.

5. I am really a huge grammar Nazi. Sorry.

6. Contrary to popular belief, my undergraduate degree was not in English, it was in Public Relations. But it should have been in English.

7. I hate being overheated, but it is hard for me to stay warm. Summer in Texas is a little miserable for me.

8. I have never, ever seen the movie Titanic, nor do I ever intend to. There is no need for it.

9. I do not like the actor Robert Duvall. I think that he is a good actor, and possibly even a good person, but there is something about him that just rubs me the wrong way.

10. I do not generally like chick flicks, but I will stand in line with you at midnight for a superhero, comic book, sci fi, or fantasy movie.

11. I believe that Star Wars is part of our modern mythology.

12. I hate the poetry of Emily Dickinson. One cannot be an expert on life by staying cloistered in her house and running from visitors. The fact that we regard her as much as we do is insane. If you want to revere someone for writing about American life, try Walt Whitman. He was a Civil War nurse for pete's sake.

13. I have never read a textbook all the way through, and I rarely fully read articles that I use for research.

14. I have worn glasses since I was 10 years old. Though I may complain about them, I feel that they are part of my identity, so I am hesitant to wear contacts or get lasik.

15. I do not, under any circumstances, like raisins. Especially in my cookies. There is no reason to spoil a perfectly good oatmeal cookie with gross little grape turds.

16. I do not trust most organized religions. Some people find peace and comfort there, but not I. I have a fear that organized religion will be our downfall.

17. I am a fiercely devoted friend. This has been the cause of much pain in my life.

18. I have dis-proportionally long arms. This make finding a comfortable jacket or coat difficult.

19. It took me almost 25 years to come to terms with the fact that I am a great big geek. I had no base of comparison when I was younger: my parents were the same way, and everyone else was not. But I am a bigger geek than both of my parents.

20. Being an Army brat was the greatest experience of my life, and it prepared me for more challenges in my life than I would have realized.

21. I do not recognize the Army we have now. A lot of times, it shames me to see it so touchy-feely. You joined the Army, there might be a war, people get killed. It's not fun or pretty, but it happens.

22. However, I am glad that the military is recognizing that PTSD is a real problem and they are taking efforts to help those who have it.

23. It is hard for me to talk about myself. This is becoming more evident the further I get into this list.

24. I am one of the most patient, forgiving, and accepting people I know. This is a hard thing to come to terms with when people hurt me.

25. I am not a morning person, but I love the time of day when I get up, the house is quiet, and you can feel the earth getting ready for a new day. It is beautiful, peaceful, and perfect.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Summer Heat

Those horrible socks for mom's associate are done. I hated making them. Here's a pic of them when they were halfway done. I didn't care enough to take a FO pic. I'm bad I know, but they caused me so much trouble.

On a good note, here are some socks for DS.

And some gloves for her BF.

Finally, a pic of my new baby:

Another term has started, and I should be writing for my class, but I had to get in some blogging. Mom and BF have convinced me to start a LYS. It will be a while still, but I'll soon start some research on overhead, rent, business plans, etc, etc, etc.

I'm already exhausted, and I haven't started anything yet!
We'll see how it goes.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Rain and Errands

There is nothing like a good morning rain to clear the senses. It rained this morning, just after the full moon. I always have the best of intentions to lie awake and listen, but I always fall asleep. It is so calming and peaceful, and I awake feeling refreshed.

My new love is Ravelry. I have joined so many groups I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up with them all. There is a group or ten for everyone.

Today though, I'll be sitting trying to finish a pair of socks for an associate of my mom's. After a trip to the grocery store to get some items I can't get in my new town, it will be a lazy Friday compared to last Friday. I was trying to write eight pages of a twelve page paper. Whew!
I still don't know what I got on that paper.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Scarborough Faire

I love the smell of a ren fest: all dirt and air and sweat and smoke and wood. I went aone this year, but I still had a good time doing so. I made a pair of socks for Trese McKay of rhagdolls (see June 2007). I think that she liked the socks; they were soft and cozy in a lovely green-Huron colorway by Lorna's Laces. I still have some left over: I'm making an mp3 player holder for myself.

Here is a pic of Trese with her new socks and my new doll. She makes these wonderful dolls by hand and gives them such charming names and personalities.

I'm in the process of knitting my first big lace project: swallowtail shawl from a booklet from Knitting Daily. I already about halfway done with it. I'm using Be Sweet yarn-it has just a slight boucle, and the color is a lovely denim.

I finished some lacey gloves for me; a copy of those I made for my sister. Made with Louet sock yarn.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

new things

Many new things:
I'm on ravelry: stitchtwister
I'm moving in with my boyfriend
I won the Adjunct Faculty member of the year award at my school
I'm three classes closer to my master's degree, and I hope to graduate in June of next year.

Here are some new completed projects:
Lacy fingerless gloves for my sister made with Trekking wool/bamboo blend. My own variation on a feather and fan pattern:

Baby blanket for my bf's sister's baby: started from the center with Cotton Tots yarn. Pattern from Vogue baby blankets:

More things too, but nothing spectacular. I'm making a commitment to write more frequently.